Tips for grocery shopping

Beware: Rant incoming

1. That area right in front of the doors is not, in fact, a parking spot especially made for you. Circle the lot like everyone else.

2. The self-checkout lines are not meant for full carts.

3. Managers: You know those little displays you put in the middle of the aisles? They're annoying and I won't buy things on them in hopes you'll stop further crowding the already crowded store.

4. If you're going to use the shopping carts with the little kid seats that are the size of semi-trucks, please ensure that your children are in the seats. No fair driving the empty semi and having your children running around it in circles. Better yet, try to avoid making grocery shopping a family outing.

5. Also for managers: the little tags that make something look like it's on sale when it really isn't are just annoying. Please don't insult my intelligence.

6. When the whole aisle is clogged up with people, take a look around and try to figure out if you're the roadblock. If so, kindly move your @$$.

7. Figure out how to distinguish a one-way lane in a parking lot by how the cars are positioned diagonally before leaving the house.

8. To the checkers: We may both wish we were doing something else, but a little friendliness (fake it, if you have to) goes a long way. It's how everyone with a job gets through the day sometimes. If I can manage to greet you with a smile after navigating through your store crowded with annoying displays, bored children and oblivious people, you can at least be polite. Walmart checkers, you are most guilty of this one.